|Seriously, back off with the shears, lady. We will eat your house.|
Female human tenant with dull and ancient gardening shears: 1 --
Crazy Dr. Seuss bushes on side of house: nil.
(Okay, well, maybe 0.35 if you count the scratches on my legs and arms, the sneezing, and the, "Gaaah! Spider web! Spider web!" heeby-jeeby dance).
So much for the zen bonsai experience...more pics and story of yard pseudo-transformation to come...